Developing Kingdom Leaders – Tom Yeakley

Taking the Mystery out of Leadership

Archive for the tag “Love”

The Eleventh Commandment

And this is love, that we walk according to his commandments; this is the commandment, just as you have heard from the beginning, so that you should walk in it.   2 John 1:6  NIV

Moses received the Ten Commandments on Mt. Sinai, but Jesus added a new one–love one another (John 13:34).  He summed up all the Old Testament with two commandments–love God and love people (see Matthew 22:37-40).  In particular, the love believers have for one another would so mark them, that all people would know they are followers of Christ (John 13:35).

Love is more than emotion; it is emotion that moves us to action.  God’s love moved Him to send His Son to die for our sin (Romans 5:18).  Our love for God is demonstrated in our obedience to His commands (John 14:21).

  • Love is the supreme character trait of a disciple of Christ.  What is said in the following passages about love? — 1 Corinthians 13:13; Galatians 5:6; Colossians 3:14
  • True love is demonstrated by our actions, not just our words.  What do the following passages say about demonstrating our love? — John 15:13; Ephesians 5:1-2; 1 John 3:16-18

Question to ponder:  To whom does God want you to demonstrate His love today and how will you do it?

Passages for further reflection:  John 15:12; 1 Peter 1:22

God’s Discipline

For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.  Hebrews 12:11  ESV

Just as a loving parent disciplines their child, so too does God discipline his children.  God’s discipline is hard and painful, but it is pain with a purpose.  God disciplines us to make us more like Himself, more Christlike.  

Our response to the Lord’s discipline can be one of two choices.  We can submit to it and reap the benefits, or we can resist it.  If we try to run from it, God will raise up new opportunities to teach us the lessons He intends.  He loves His children too much to let them go undisciplined.

  • God disciplines all His children because He loves them.  What do the following verses say about God’s discipline? — Job 5:17-18;  Psalm 119:65-68; Proverbs 3:11-12
  • God’s discipline is designed to build Christlike character into our lives.  What do the following verses say about the results of God’s discipline? — John 15:1-2; Hebrews 12:10-11; 1 Peter 1:6-7

Question to ponder:  Is there an area of disobedience in your life that is bringing God’s discipline? 

Passages for further reflection:  Deuteronomy 8:1-5; Job 23:10

Being and Doing

As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.”     1 Peter 1:14-16  NIV 1984

As followers of Christ, we are called both to ‘be’ and to ‘do.’  But note the order!

We are first to be holy for the One who calls us and whom we confess as Lord and Savior is holy.  Doing flows out of being.  If we are not holy on the ‘inside,’ in our hearts and minds, then our actions, our ‘doing’ is at best hypocritical, at worst, deceitful.

Kingdom leaders focus on being with Jesus before they seek to serve others for Jesus!  It is this abiding with Him that He reminds us of in John 15.  “I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”  John 15:5  ESV  Notice the order – abide in Him….bears much fruit…. otherwise, apart from Him we can do nothing.

Leaders are doers.  We are never satisfied with the status quo, always seeking to change, improve, advance, accomplish, and further the mission we have been entrusted to steward.  It is this default to ‘doing’ that at times overrides the ‘being’ aspect of our lives.  The branch separates from the vine and assumes it will continue to bear fruit.  How foolish!

The demands upon us are straining our remaining closely attached to the Vine of Life.  Don’t let the chaos of the day consume your soul.  Remember the exhortation of Joshua to the leaders he was about to leave, “Be very careful, therefore, to love the LORD your God.”   Joshua 23:11  ESV

Therefore, holy brothers, who share in the heavenly calling, fix your thoughts on Jesus, the apostle and high priest whom we confess.   Hebrews 3:1  NIV 1984

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith…   Hebrews 12:2  NIV 1984

How’s your soul?

Are you fixed and focused on being with Him and knowing Him more deeply?

Making Wise Personnel Decisions – 3

We continue our discussion on making wise personnel decisions as Kingdom leaders. Today’s topic is one where we definitely need wisdom from above – James 1:5.

Discerning between care or development needs versus too costly a use of limited resources 

  1. When we use the term ‘too costly,’ what does this mean?  If a staff needs professional counseling, for example, who pays for the counseling and for how long?  What type of outcomes/change are we expecting from this counseling that will determine whether they stay or leave?  Define the process, responsibilities and outcomes before you start the process!
  2. Do we send/allow staff to pursue advanced degrees (i.e. leadership, counseling, seminary degrees) as part of their personal development? There are legal implications, labor laws that apply here – especially when using donor funds (untaxed, organizational funds) to pay for degrees that are not relevant to current roles and may prepare them for different jobs.  Know the law before you give permission on this!
  3. When a staff or employee fails to fulfill their responsibilities, we would hope that there will be change/improvement given more time and good supervision. We are sometimes tempted to think that changing the environment (i.e. job or supervisor) will bring improvement, but, in my experience, this rarely helps.
  4. We want to help people succeed by resourcing them well.  Jesus said, “A man planted a fig tree in his garden and came again and again to see if there was any fruit on it, but he was always disappointed. Finally, he said to his gardener, ‘I’ve waited three years, and there hasn’t been a single fig! Cut it down. It’s just taking up space in the garden. The gardener answered, ‘Sir, give it one more chance. Leave it another year, and I’ll give it special attention and plenty of fertilizer. If we get figs next year, fine. If not, then you can cut it down.’”   Luke 13:6-9  NLT
  5. Note the attempt to bring fruitfulness to the barren tree within a specific time frame.  Three years of patiently expecting results were now coupled with an additional year given for change with added attention and ‘fertilizer’ from the gardener.  But, there were limits. If there is not the expected change after the additional year of help, then the gardener is to ‘cut it down.’
  6. What to do when a leader violates trust – for example, demonstrates a moral failure? There is no ‘formula’ for this situation.  We must be wise and visit this on a case-by-case basis. Restoration of the fallen or wounded is our primary goal and we would want to have a strong bias towards this. We don’t want to ‘shoot our wounded.’  When a leader sins, we can and should seek to restore them to fellowship with their appropriate repentance and time for healing.  But the question arises on whether we should restore them to leadership once a trust is broken?  Prudence and wisdom would seem to guide us to evaluate the heart and actions of the individual as well as the nature of trust that was broken.  As in all complex personnel issues, the answer ‘ it depends’ means we need the guidance of the Spirit to discern our course of action.
  7. How do we act in love to those leaders who have broken trust? It is not necessarily loving to ‘forgive and forget.’  Certainly there will be a ‘disciplining’ of those who have broken trust.  The Lord does discipline those He loves (Hebrews 12:1-13).  But His discipline is not unending and it does yield change – the ‘fruit of righteousness.’
  8. We can expect a difference of opinions on what to do. Those with mercy and compassion gifts may not want to fire or lose someone from the team or mission.  They may tend to think that with the right care, given more time and help we will see lasting change and the person be recovered.  A different view from those with more prophetic, exhortation or leadership gifts may emphasize mission over person and not want to risk entrusting leadership authority and responsibility to someone who has previously proven unfaithful.  These are always difficult decisions.
  9. A general principle here is Luke 6:31 – “And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.”  The Golden Rule of Leadership is – Lead others the way you would want to be led.

Ouch – That Hurts!

Jesus was betrayed by one of His leaders in training.  He spent three years with Judas, investing in him, training him and giving him every opportunity to contribute with the others.  Yet he took the love Christ extended and turned it into rebellion.  That must have hurt!

When we serve with or for others, sacrificing and giving our all, we assume their acceptance and support.  When we extend ourselves in the service of others we assume a gratefulness for our efforts.  It can come as a shock when our efforts are not recognized, appreciated or are overlooked as insignificant.  Ouch, that hurts!

What to do when our best efforts are ignored, unappreciated or worse, put down and dismissed by our leaders or supervisors?  How do we respond when those we trust disappoint us or show a side of themselves that we assumed and expected better from them?  How do we react when we get our feelings hurt or when our expectations of others are not met?

First, it’s time to reset our perspective and expectations of others.  There is no perfect leader.  We are all people in process.   Our leaders are imperfect people and so are we.  Don’t place unrealistic expectations on them that they cannot meet.  Most are simply doing the best they can with what they have.

Secondly, if there really is a wrong that has been done, go to them privately and explain your hurt and disappointment without casting blame.  Decide to forgive them whether they admit wrong and ask for forgiveness or not.  And when they ask for forgiveness, give it.  Beware of harboring an unforgiving spirit that can turn to a root of bitterness and defile you.  (see Hebrews 12:15)

Third, remember that the Lord has placed you in this context and under this leadership.  He will not allow anyone to frustrate His good and perfect plans for you.  Jacob was cheated by his father-in-law who changed his wages ten times!  Yet he testifies that God protected him from harm. (see Genesis 31: 7)  Joseph was sold into slavery, falsely accused of attempted rape by Potiphar’s wife and imprisoned.  Yet he testifies to his brothers that though they and others meant it for evil, God intended it for good. (Genesis 50:20)  Nothing touches us outside of God’s good and perfect will.  Rest in Him and His sovereignty in all things – those that feel good and those that don’t.

Lastly, check your attitudes and motives.  Are you serving for the reward and recognition you hope to receive?  Are you working hard in the hopes of climbing an organizational chart?  Are you serving for the praise of others or are you serving Him who never forgets your labor on His behalf?  (see Colossians 3:23-24 and Hebrews 6:10)

We all will be disappointed in our leaders and most likely, get hurt – it’s a matter of when, not if.  But it is how we respond that can make it a growth and development opportunity for us.  How are you doing on your journey and your relationship with your leadership?

PS  A Primer for Kingdom Leaders:  100 Reflections for Improving Your Leadership – A collection of 100 of my most popular blogs – compiled, edited and available for FREE download.  See Tom’s Books page above to download.

This Thing Is From Me

… for this thing is from me…   1 Kings 12:24  (KJV)

“Life’s disappointments are veiled love’s appointments.”  Rev. C.A. Fox

My child, I have a message for you today; let me whisper it in your ear, that it may gild with glory my storm clouds which may arise, and smooth the rough places upon which you may have to tread.  It is short, only five words, but let them sink into your inmost soul; use them as a pillow upon which to rest your weary head.  This thing is from me.*

Have you ever thought of it, that all that concerns you concerns Me too?  For, “he that toucheth you, toucheth the apple of mine eye.” (Zech. 2:8)  You are very precious in My sight (Isa. 43:4).  Therefore, it is My special delight to educate you.

I would have you learn when temptations assail you, and the “enemy comes in like a flood,” that this thing is from Me, that your weakness needs My might, and your safety lies in letting Me fight for you.

Are you in difficult circumstances, surrounded by people who do not understand you, who never consult your taste, who put you in the background?  This thing is from Me.  I am the God of circumstances.  Thou camest not to thy place by accident, it is the very place God meant for thee.

Have you not asked to be made humble?  See then, I have placed you in the very school where this lesson is taught; your surroundings and companions are only working out My will.

Are you in money difficulties?  Is it hard to make both ends meet?  This thing is from Me, for I am your purse-bearer and would have you draw from and depend upon Me.  My supplies are limitless (Phil. 4:19).  I would have you prove my promises.  Let it not be said of you, “In this thing ye did not believe the Lord your God.” (Deut. 1:32)

Are you passing through a night of sorrow?  This thing is from Me.  I am the Man of Sorrows and acquainted with grief.  I have let earthly comforters fail you, that by turning to Me you may obtain everlasting consolation (2 Thes. 2:16,17).  Have you longed to do some great work for Me and instead have been laid aside on a bed of pain and weakness?  This thing is from Me.  I could not get your attention in your busy days and I want to teach you some of my deepest lessons.  “They also serve who only stand and wait.”  Some of My greatest workers are those shut out from active service, that they may learn to wield the weapon of all – prayer.

This day I place in your hand this pot of holy oil.  Make use of it free, my child.  Let every circumstance that arises, every word that pains you, every interruption that would make you impatient, every revelation of your weakness be anointed with it.  The sting will go as you learn to see Me in all things.    Laura A. Barter Snow

* Streams in the Desert by Mrs. Robert E. Cowman  –  a daily devotion for February 1

Doing Well

If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing well.     James 2:8   ESV

Last week we looked at Doing Good – especially in the context of Jesus who “went about doing good” (see Acts 10:38).  Doing good is ‘what’ Jesus did.  James draws our attention to the ‘how’ of that which we do.  We can know if we are doing well.

James sets the context for us by addressing the ‘second commandment’ (see Matthew 22:36-40) that sums up all the Law and the Prophets.  The greatest commandment is to love God with all that we have.  The second is to love your neighbor as you love yourself.  James refers to this as the “royal law of Scripture.”  Quite the label, for sure!

Note that we will fulfill this ‘royal law’ if we actually do it.  It’s not enough just to know it, give it intellectual assent and agree with it.  We have to put it into practice.  We are to love others as we love ourselves.  In so doing, we are doing well.  So, what does this look like for Kingdom leaders?

First, it means that our leadership is not focused upon ourselves, but upon others.  It’s not about ‘me, the leader’ but rather, it’s about those we lead.  Yes, I love myself.  But, that is the standard from which to measure my love for others.  To paraphrase the Golden Rule, we lead others the way we would like to be led” (see Luke 6:31).

Secondly, we use our leadership authority and influence to serve and help others in the midst of accomplishing our mission.  Yes, finishing the task is important.  But, we don’t do so at the expense of those we lead or serve with.  Those we lead are not a means to an end (mission accomplished), but they too are an end – in loving and serving them as we complete mission together.

If we lead others well – loving them as we love ourselves – and if we lead others the way we would want someone to lead us – if we use our leadership to serve, not use those we lead, then we are doing well.

As you go about doing good, are you doing well?

 

Watch Over Yourselves

Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers.    Acts 20:28   (NIV  1984)

Paul had called together the elders from the church at Ephesus for a final word of instruction and exhortation.  In the passage above, he challenges them to “keep watch over yourselves” first and then to watch over the flock of God entrusted to them.  The order is important!

Jesus, when washing the feet of His disciples the night before His crucifixion, instructs them, “Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet.”  John 13:14  (NIV  1984)  Note that the disciples were told to “wash one another’s feet,” but who were the ‘one-anothers’?  The context says that it was the 11 present with Him.

We easily translate these two passages into the context of our leadership, understanding that as Kingdom leaders we watch over those whom we lead and use our position as leader to serve those under our care.  But, while true, we miss the first context in doing so.

As a leadership team or community of leaders, we are to watch over the other leaders and team members first, then look after the needs of others.  We are to serve the other leaders on our team and then those others who we have responsibility for.  Yes, I am my brother’s keeper!

Too easily we assume that our leadership team members can get by without our help.  “They are the mature ones and the seemingly stable ones,” we think.  But, the enemy of our souls is not so foolish.  He knows that by crippling the shepherd, he can then ravage the flock.

Maybe it’s time to check in with each other on your team?  How’s it going?  No, how’s it really going?  How’s your soul?  How’s your family?  How’s your heart for the work entrusted to you? Are you thriving or just surviving in this work?  What can I do to better lead you well?

Watch over yourselves first and then watch over the flock entrusted to your care!

Modeling and Managing Yourself

Leading and managing others is much easier if you are able to manage yourself first.  Self-management, being able to self-direct, is a prerequisite for deeper leadership influence.  Your personal example as a leader speaks very loudly to those around you.

Below are some passages that speak to this idea of self-management and being an example for others.  Reflect upon them in the context of your leadership influence.

Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent,
and discerning if he holds his tongue.   (Proverbs 17:28  NIV 1984)

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness.  Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing.  My brothers, this should not be.  (James 3:9–10  NIV 1984)

“I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear.”  (John 16:12  NIV 1984)

When you sit to dine with a ruler, note well what is before you, and put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony.  Do not crave his delicacies, for that food is deceptive.  (Proverbs 23:1–3  NIV 1984)

But when you are invited, take the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he will say to you, ‘Friend, move up to a better place.’  Then you will be honored in the presence of all your fellow guests.  For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”  (Luke 14:10–11  NIV 1984)

Do to others as you would have them do to you.  (Luke 6:31  NIV 1984)

Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.  (1 Thessalonians 5:15  NIV 1984)

Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.  (1 Timothy 4:12  NIV 1984)

Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.  (1 Corinthians 11:1  NIV  1984)

I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.  (John 13:15  NIV 1984)

As a Kingdom leader you are being watched and your example speaks louder than your words.  What are you modeling that others may imitate?

The – What to Do If – Notebook

Leaders rarely plan for their sudden death, often leaving their personal and professional affairs in a mess.  Part of good, strategic leadership is thinking and planning ahead for the unexpected or untimely.  Good stewardship of your responsibilities, both personal and professional, means preparing for a transition should something happen to you unexpectedly.  Let’s examine the personal aspect first.

It is extremely helpful if you collect all the important, vital documents and information in one centralized place and that your spouse knows where this is located with easy access.  I placed my info in a “What to Do If” notebook.  Should something happen to me – plane crash, car accident, heart attack, etc.) my wife knows where to go to help her sort through the myriad of decisions that she will be facing.  Here’s some of the items in my notebook.

1.  Living Will and Medical Power of Attorney – make sure it’s up to date; you may want to include your wishes for the funeral or memorial service and the disposal of your remains; these are copies as the originals are kept in the safe deposit box

2.  Computer and Hard Drive/Cloud Backup access  –  passwords and PINs

3.  Financial Records – banking, credit cards, investments; account numbers, websites, phone numbers, passwords; safe deposit box access and inventory of box

3.  Life Insurance Policies  –  amounts on policies and contact information for filing a claim; you may even list suggestions on what to do with the payouts

4.  Other Assets  –  any other asset of value; properties, collections, antiques (consider designating the distribution of particular items, especially family heirlooms)

5.  Memberships, Warranties, Maintenance Agreements – location and type of memberships and warranties for household items or autos

6.  Monthly Bills  –  what bills are due monthly, quarterly, annually and how to pay them

7.  Personal Records  –  birth certificates, passports, marriage certificate  –  location of files

I collected all of the above information into one notebook – the What to Do If notebook.  Should my wife get word of my death, she knows where to go for guidance.  I collected the most important details in a two page executive summary at the beginning of the notebook and the rest is filled with copies of statements, records, etc. for her to reference, if needed.

We have talked over the contents of the notebook together to clarify any questions she may have.  I also asked my oldest son to review the notebook with both of us, so that he can lend objective support in executing the details after I’m gone.

Loving care and good stewardship means we plan for the unexpected and help prepare a way forward for those we leave behind.  Seek to make it as easy as possible for them.  Taking the initiative and planning ahead means you really do care!

Where’s your notebook?  Does your spouse know where it is?

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