Rest and Relaxation
I’m taking a break from this weekly blog for rest, relaxation, and restoration.
When was the last time you had a break from your routines?
Here’s a hint at what I’m probably doing while you are reading this….
Developing Kingdom Leaders – Tom Yeakley
Taking the Mystery out of Leadership
Archive for the tag “Personal development”
How to Develop Yourself at a Meeting
I was recently asked for some thoughts on how to really benefit from participating in a gathering of leaders. Below are some practical suggestions on maximizing your growth and development from such a meeting.
- It’s easy just to let the meeting just happen and you take it as it comes – more reactive than pro-active. While this may be of some benefit, it will not maximize your experience. A little planning and forethought can be a great benefit.
- Don’t be afraid to take initiative with anyone while there or try to book an appointment beforehand. You will usually find them very responsive if at all possible. You will need to have a clear reason for wanting to spend time with them. Express what you hope to get out of the time together.
- It can be easy to feel like a grasshopper in the land of giants, but that is not reality. While a gathering of leaders will have those attending with different leadership roles, but there is no value or importance implied by those various roles.
- So, think ahead and do some pro-active planning. Who would you want to spend time with? Who would you want to learn from? Are their strategic linkages that you want to work develop or initiate?
- Though you have a plan, expect that the Lord will guide you into some ‘divine appointments’ that He arranges for you. Be anticipating that and listening to the Spirit as He directs you in your conversations. Be slow to speak and quick to listen.
- Go as a learner. Go asking questions. It might be helpful to have several questions related to leadership that you ask repeatedly to several participants and then compare their answers. The questions can be specific (i.e. What one lesson have you learned that has helped you most to be a strategic leader?) or more general (i.e. What advice would you give someone like me who is just beginning to lead geographically dispersed staff teams?)
- Don’t make any long-term commitments while there. You may be invited to visit, send staff teams, partner, commit resources , etc. to many wonderful opportunities. Thank them for the invitation, but tell them you will want to pray and think about this and discuss it with your leadership before making any long-term decisions. When you return, and decompress, you will be able to make much better and wiser decisions.
- Debrief with someone afterwards on what you learned.
Gatherings of leaders can be very stimulating and helpful for your growth and development. But a little forethought can truly make them life-altering. Plan ahead!
The 24 Hours of Life
The length of our days is seventy years—or eighty, if we have the strength; yet their span is but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away. Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Moses – Psalm 90:10,12
Some time ago I was meditating on these verses and thinking about the length of life. It is but a mist that appears for a short time and then vanishes (see James 4:14). To help me gain some perspective I created the chart below and review it regularly. It helps remind me of my mortality and of the brevity of life. It is a comparison of a seventy-year life span to a 24 hour day.
At 66 years of age (I was born in 1951) you can see that the vast majority of my life is now in the rear-view mirror. This does not mean that life is over, for no one knows their span of years. But whether it be seventy years, eighty years or more, we are to ‘number our days’ and make the most of them for His glory.
Reflect on these things and make the most of every opportunity. For this life will soon be past and only what is done for Christ will last.
YEAR AGE TIME YEAR AGE TIME
1952 1 00.20 1987 36 12.20
1953 2 00.41 1988 37 12.41
1954 3 01.02 1989 38 13.02
1955 4 01.23 1990 39 13.23
1956 5 01.43 1991 40 13.43
1957 6 02.03 1992 41 14.03
1958 7 02.24 1993 42 14.24
1959 8 02.45 1994 43 14.45
1960 9 03.05 1995 44 15.05
1961 10 03.25 1996 45 15.25
1962 11 03.46 1997 46 15.46
1963 12 04.06 1998 47 16.06
1964 13 04.27 1999 48 16.27
1965 14 04.48 2000 49 16.48
1966 15 05.09 2001 50 17.09
1967 16 05.29 2002 51 17.29
1968 17 05.50 2003 52 17.50
1969 18 06.10 2004 53 18.10
1970 19 06.31 2005 54 18.31
1971 20 06.51 2006 55 18.51
1972 21 07.12 2007 56 19.12
1973 22 07.32 2008 57 19.32
1974 23 07.53 2009 58 19.53
1975 24 08.14 2010 59 20.14
1976 25 08.35 2011 60 20.35
1977 26 08.55 2012 61 20.55
1978 27 09.15 2013 62 21.15
1979 28 09.36 2014 63 21.36
1980 29 09.57 2015 64 21.57
1981 30 10.17 2016 65 22.17
1982 31 10.38 2017 66 22.38
1983 32 10.58 2018 67 22.58
1984 33 11.19 2019 68 23.19
1985 34 11.39 2020 69 23.39
1986 35 12.00 2021 70 24.00
The Learning Cycle Applied – 3
Experience is not the best teacher. It is evaluated experience that makes for truly developmental learning. For those of us who seek to intentionally develop others, especially leaders, helping them to evaluate their experiences will maximize the developmental opportunity.
David A. Kolb, an American educational theorist, captured a model on how adults learn. Later Peter Honey and Alan Mumford adapted model for use with a population of middle/senior managers in business. Here is their Learning Cycle with minor adaptations.
The Adult Learning Cycle
4 Phases of the Adult Learning Cycle
- Experience – The circumstances, people, responsibilities and opportunities that make up the reality of life.
- Reflection – People need to reflect on their experiences. Questions need to be asked about what happened and why it happened.
- Conclusion – Having reflected, the learner draws conclusions that form applications for future activity.
- Application – Applications form the basis of ongoing activities and experience.
Too often busy leaders fail to stop and reflect adequately upon their leadership experiences. One of a leader developer’s tools for helping others is the ability to cause busy leaders to stop long enough to adequately reflect upon their experiences. We do this by asking them questions. Becoming a good questioner is key to helping other adults learn from their experiences. But many fail to probe another’s experience by failing to ask. Why?
One of the greatest obstacles to overcome is the desire to talk about yourself and your own experiences. This self-centeredness flows from an inflated ego and an assumption that my experiences are more important than yours. We can ramble on and on about ourselves without seeming to take a breath and the listener, though hopefully polite, has really not benefited. You may feel good about the time, but it is a wasted opportunity for them to reflect upon their own experience because you lacked the self-control to shut up about yourself and listen to them.
Jesus asked hundreds of questions to those around Him, especially The Twelve leaders in training. Not one time was He asking for information! It was all for their benefit.
So, are you a ‘teller’ or an ‘asker?’ How you answer can determine how well you develop other leaders.
The Learning Cycle Applied – Five Questions for Reflection – 2
Experience is not the best teacher. It is evaluated experience that makes for truly developmental learning. For those of us who seek to intentionally develop others, especially leaders, helping them to evaluate their experiences will maximize the developmental opportunity.
David A. Kolb, an American educational theorist, captured a model on how adults learn. Later Peter Honey and Alan Mumford adapted model for use with a population of middle/senior managers in business. Here is their Learning Cycle with minor adaptations.
The Adult Learning Cycle
4 Phases of the Adult Learning Cycle
- Experience – The circumstances, people, responsibilities and opportunities that make up the reality of life.
- Reflection – People need to reflect on their experiences. Questions need to be asked about what happened and why it happened.
- Conclusion – Having reflected, the learner draws conclusions that form applications for future activity.
- Application – Applications form the basis of ongoing activities and experience.
Too often busy leaders fail to stop and reflect adequately upon their leadership experiences. One of a leader developer’s tools for helping others is the ability to cause busy leaders to stop long enough to adequately reflect upon their experiences. We do this by asking them questions. Becoming a good questioner is key to helping other adults learn from their experiences. Here are five of my favorite questions to ask leaders about a recent leadership experience.
- What did you learn about yourself from this experience?
- What did about your God from this experience?
- What did you learn about leadership from this experience?
- If you were to repeat this experience, what would you do again and why?
- If you were to repeat this experience, what would you not do again and why?
These simple questions will cause a person to stop and think carefully about their life and leadership and help them arrive at good conclusions. They ‘why’ part of the final two questions is most insightful as it helps us understand their reasoning and values.
So, are you a ‘teller’ or an ‘asker?’ How you answer can determine how well you develop other adults.
The Learning Cycle Applied to Leader Development – 1
Experience is not the best teacher. It is evaluated experience that makes for truly developmental learning. For those of us who seek to intentionally develop others, especially leaders, helping them to evaluate their experiences will maximize the developmental opportunity.
David A. Kolb (born 1939) is an American educational theorist whose interests and publications focus on experiential learning, the individual and social change, and career development. He was first to identify this model of how adults learn. In the mid 1970’s Peter Honey and Alan Mumford adapted David Kolb’s model for use with a population of middle/senior managers in business. They published their version of the model in The Manual of Learning Styles (1982) and Using Your Learning Styles (1983). Here is their Learning Cycle with minor adaptations.
The Adult Learning Cycle
4 Phases of the Adult Learning Cycle
- Experience – The circumstances, people, responsibilities and opportunities that make up the reality of life.
- Reflection – People need to reflect on their experiences. Questions need to be asked about what happened and why it happened.
- Conclusion – Having reflected, the learner draws conclusions that form applications for future activity.
- Application – Applications form the basis of ongoing activities and experience.
Too often busy leaders fail to stop and reflect adequately upon their leadership experiences. They complete one responsibility and ten more await their immediate attention. They move forward with impressions from past experiences, but not having taken the time to reflect well, these impressions are half-formed thoughts or wrong conclusions that then lead to even poorer applications.
One of a leader developer’s tools for helping others is the ability to help busy leaders to stop long enough to adequately reflect upon their experiences. We do this by asking them questions. Becoming a good questioner is key to helping other adults learn from their experiences.
So, are you a ‘teller’ or an ‘asker?’ How you answer can determine how well you develop other adults.
Helping Others Understand
When they went across the lake, the disciples forgot to take bread. 6 “Be careful,” Jesus said to them. “Be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees.” … Do you still not understand? Don’t you remember … But be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees.” Then they understood that he was not telling them to guard against the yeast used in bread, but against the teaching of the Pharisees and Sadducees. Matthew 16:5-12 NIV 1984
The disciples asked him, “Why then do the teachers of the law say that Elijah must come first?” … Then the disciples understood that he was talking to them about John the Baptist. Matthew 17:10-13 NIV 1984
Jesus had multiple times where the Twelve were slow to grasp the meaning of His teaching or their experiences with Him. He demonstrates amazing patience as they struggle to really understand the meaning of all that was happening. Sometimes we can see what appears to be a chiding of them or a mild exhortation (“How will you understand any parable?”), but he does wait for them to come to a fuller grasp of the subject. He does not ‘spoon feed’ them; they have to exercise their own thought process.
In the first example in Matthew 16 the statement from Jesus was about avoiding the yeast of the Pharisees. Having just come from two miracles of feeding thousands, the context seemed to dictate the subject of literal bread. This was compounded by the fact that they did have any bread to eat, having forgotten it before they got on board. So they concluded, perhaps He meant, “When we get off, don’t go purchasing any yeast from certain types of religious bread dealers?”
Note that when Jesus queried them about both miracles they accurately repeated the facts of their experience. They knew how many were fed and how much was left over. Though they knew the facts they did not understand the meaning. After some further reflection, they understood the true meaning was to avoid the false teaching of the Pharisees and Sadducees.
The second instance begins with a question from the disciples about a prophecy regarding the coming of ‘Elijah’ before the coming of the Messiah. They were growing in their understanding the Jesus was the long-awaited Messiah, but then who was this ‘Elijah’ that was to come before Him? With a little explanation, they came to understand that it was John the Baptist. Note that Jesus did not tell them this plainly who it was, they had to deduce it from his explanation.
Sometimes those we lead require a little more help from us to ensure that they truly grasp what they are hearing or experiencing. Don’t assume that just because they know the details that they truly understand the meaning.
Are you discerning or assuming that those around you understand?
Then he opened their minds so they could understand the Scriptures.
Luke 24:45 NIV 1984
Curse God and Die!
Then Job took a piece of broken pottery and scraped himself with it as he sat among the ashes. His wife said to him, “Are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die!” He replied, “You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” In all this, Job did not sin in what he said. Job 2:8-10
Job and his wife had suffered the tragic death of their children, the destruction of their home and wealth, and now Job was afflicted with oozing sores over his entire body. Oh, the heartache!
It seems like it all was too much for his wife. Her anger laden invective to him was simply, “Curse God and die!” How sad! How depressing! How real!
As he sat on a pile of broken pottery shards, Job scraped at his sores and reflected upon his lot in life. Certainly it was not a journey that he would have chosen. Certainly he would have desired that it never had happened in the first place.
But tragedy had befallen him and his house. And now he must reason. The inner man cries out for an answer to, “Why?” But Job was not a typical man. His simple statement of faith and trust was this, “Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?”
It’s easy to thank God when life goes well. We express grateful hearts for his mercy and goodness to us. But, what about when things are not so good? Can we thank Him when life does not feel good or seems anything but good? Job did. And we can follow his example as well.
Last year we suffered with our young granddaughter as she was diagnosed with kidney cancer and then endured 8 months of chemotherapy. There were some dark days on that part of our journey. But God in His mercy restored her. This April we suffered the sudden death of our first-born, Michael at the age of 40. There continues to be a sense of great loss and missing him.
But today we say by faith – we trust Him who is the Blessed Controller. Nothing that touches us is outside of His good and perfect will for us. By faith we say we trust Him and all that He has done. We do not trust our own feelings, logic, or demand that He explain Himself. For His ways are not our ways, neither are His thoughts our thoughts. (see Isaiah 55:8-9).
The Lord is our strength, our shield, and our defender. He comforts the grieving and gives hope to the discouraged. We trust Him!
Have the lines fallen to you in pleasant places? Rejoice!
Have the lines fallen in difficult places? Trust!
Striving for Generations of Laborers
… the mystery that has been kept hidden for ages and generations, but is now disclosed to the Lord’s people. To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.
He is the one we proclaim, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone fully mature in Christ. To this end I strenuously contend with all the energy Christ so powerfully works in me. Colossians 1:26-29
Paul worked with everything he had to help others come to know Christ and grow to maturity in Him. This type of spiritual laboring was incredibly consuming and exhausting.
A mark of physical maturity is the ability to reproduce. And so it is for spiritual maturity. As we grow up in Christ we mature to the point of being able to reproduce more followers of Him. It is a natural result of growth both physically and spiritually.
But many followers of Christ never reproduce their faith. They are stunted or never reach spiritual maturity. Having obtained the ‘fire insurance policy,’ they rest in the assurance of its personal protection without sharing their faith with others.
Paul exhorted Timothy to pass along what he had obtained to others to the second and third spiritual generation. “You then, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable people who will also be qualified to teach others.” (2 Timothy 2:1-2)
Spiritual generations of those who are mature in Christ to the point of spiritual reproduction – that is the legacy of our spiritual lives. Just as we leave a physical legacy, so too we must aim for a spiritual legacy. We seek to leave behind men and women who walk with God and who reproduce their faith into the next and following generations.
What’s the legacy that you are leaving?
Your Reactions are Showing
Sometimes that click you hear under your foot really is a landmine!
Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. Colossians 4:5-6 NIV 1984
But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect… 1 Peter 3:15 NIV 1984
Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Ephesians 5:15-16 NIV 1984
How many times have you done or said something that you think immediately afterwards – Oh, no! Ooops! Wish I could rewind that tape! Thinking before you speak or act is a mark of maturity and self-control. It is a sign of Kingdom wisdom.
The authority that leaders carry by position or reputation can leave behind wreckage in the lives of many if we are not careful in how we act or speak. While we have the right to have thoughts and opinions about all things, it is not wise to share or act upon them without first realizing the potential impact on those around us. You will be imitated and quoted!
I’m not talking about political correctness here. There are times when Kingdom leaders must stand for what is right and go against the cultural tide. What I’m referring to are the unfiltered, knee-jerk responses that unintentionally wound others simply because we don’t stop to think before we act or speak. Someone put it this way, “Your reactions are showing!”
Paul’s exhortations to us in the passages above are to, “be wise,” “be prepared,” and “be very careful” with respect to our speech and actions, especially as we relate to an unbelieving world. We would do well to heed these reminders.
How are your recent interactions with others – family, team members, or outsiders?
Are your reactions showing?
Tom Yeakley
Developing Kingdom Leaders - Tom Yeakley 