Developing Kingdom Leaders – Tom Yeakley

Taking the Mystery out of Leadership

Archive for the tag “Conflict”

17 Jun 2024
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Strive for Peace

Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Romans 12:16-18 ESV

Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled… Hebrews 12:14-15 ESV

Differences of opinions, disagreements over decisions, or accusations about motive will occur in life and especially in leadership. How you respond to those who disagree reveals much about your heart. “For out of the heart the mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45). You will always believe that you are right, otherwise you would not have chosen what you did. But, when challenged or questioned about your decisions, will you seek to defend, justify, ‘return fire,’ or not?

One who finds their security and self-worth in being right or having others agree with them will have difficulty in leading others (especially leading other leaders) and the pursuit of peace. They give opportunity for an unforgiving spirit and bitterness to take root and defile their soul. The pursuit of harmony in their relationships is hindered by a self-righteous spirit and a desire for ‘justice’ as they define it.

Note how Paul and the author of Hebrews instruct those who have been wronged and face opposition. Live in harmony with each other. Strive for peace with everyone. Repay no one evil for evil. Do what is honorable in the sight of all.

It may not be possible for peace and harmony in all relationships. Doctrinal truth must not be compromised for the sake of peace or harmony. But ‘as far as it depends on you,’ forgive those who have wronged you. Let God bring about your ‘justice.’ He is more than capable of righting every wrong. He will defend you, your reputation, and fight for you, should there be a need.

“The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” Psalm 18:2 ESV

Strive for peace and for holiness without which no one will see the Lord.

Posted in #2 BE - Who a Leader Is, #3 DO - What a Leader Does and tagged , , , , , , , ,
05 Mar 2018

Conflict Resolution Tips

As the sun rises in the east, so will conflicts arise in your life as you lead.  What to do when they arise makes all the difference.  Below are some very practical ideas on what to do when you have an interpersonal conflict with another.

  1.  Seek to resolve small conflicts before they become big ones!  And remember that your small issue can be a big issue for someone else.
  2. If you know there is an issue with someone, take the initiative.  Move towards them to resolve it.
  3. If you are upset-angry-frustrated, be sure that you focus the expression of those feelings on the issue and not the person.
  4. Anger is not necessarily bad.  All emotions are morally neutral.  But, it is how we express our anger-frustration that can make it sin for us.
  5. If your beginning to lose self-control and sensing an inability to express deep feelings constructively, call a ‘time out’ to allow yourself to regain control of your emotions.  But, be honest to not use this tactic as a tool to manipulate others.
  6. Taking a ’20-year look’ on issues can bring some better perspective on how important this issue really is.  Is this really something that 20 years from now is worth going to battle over now?
  7. If possible, keep the issue private and settle it privately.  The circle of those included in settling an issue is the circle of those involved-offended.
  8. Once settled, don’t bring the issue up again.  Bury it and leave it buried!
  9. Using words like, “You always….” or “You never….” will not lead to resolution of a conflict.  The accused will feel personally threatened and move into a ‘flight or fight’ response mode.  Neither response will lead to a lasting resolution of a conflict.
  10. Just because someone disagrees with you does not mean that they don’t like you as a person or a leader.  Don’t take it so personally!

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.              Romans 12:18   (NIV 1984)

Posted in #2 BE - Who a Leader Is, #3 DO - What a Leader Does and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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