Developing Kingdom Leaders – Tom Yeakley

‘No’ Is Not a Four-Letter Word!

The missionary statesman E. Stanley Jones said, “Your ability to say ‘no’ will determine your ability to say ‘yes’ to greater things.”  Learning to say ‘no’ graciously is a skill to be developed as you mature in understanding your God-given design and your calling.

Nehemiah was persistent in declining many invitations to meeting with his opposition.  They then tried to scare him with threats upon his life.  All received the same answer, ‘no.’  (Nehemiah 6:1-14)  Apollos was strongly urged by Paul to leave Ephesus and go to Corinth.  But he said ‘no’ to Paul’s urging, instead promising to visit at a later date.  (1 Corinthians 16:12).  Paul himself said ‘no’ to an open door of ministry opportunity in Troas because he had a higher priority.  He was looking for Titus to bring him word of how his first letter to Corinth was received.  So he said goodbye to Troas and went to Macedonia.  (2 Corinthians 2:12-13)

Even God the Father said ‘no’ to His Son in the garden.  Three times Jesus asked His Father to change the plan and not go to the cross, but His Father said ‘no.’  (Mark 14).

Discerning between good and bad is easy.  But choosing between what is good, better, or best requires guidance from the Holy Spirit.  He will help you discern what is best.  It may be the right choice, but the wrong timing.  Never choose based upon the ministry audience size or the honorarium amount offered. 

And when you decline an invitation, do so with words of affirmation and gratitude first.  Then say, “I’m sorry I won’t be able to do this for you.  I have other commitments.”  No need to explain what those might be – it could be staying home to rest and spend time with your family which also is a real commitment.