Leadership Conversations
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. James 1:19-20 ESV
While James is not writing specifically to Kingdom leaders, his counsel is especially applicable to all leaders as they interact with others. For leaders, due to their position and authority, are heard at a volume of 9 even when they speak at a volume of 3. This can be of great advantage when affirming another for a job well done. But it can be tragically wounding if words are said in anger or without self-control.
James gives three actions when in interpersonal communications with others. Let’s look closer at these.
1. Be quick to hear – Have you ever been in conversation with another when they seemed not to be listening to you, but rather only waiting for the opportunity to speak? As leaders you will often be deferred to for speaking first or your words will be given more weight due to your role or position. Rather than sharing your thoughts, train yourself to ask questions and let others speak. And when they talk, really listen to them. Jesus asked over 200 questions and not one time did He need more information!
2. Be slow to speak – If you are quick to hear, you will be slow to speak. But you may hear and truly not be listening. Instead, you may be giving an outward appearance of listening, but inwardly you are formulating your response and ignoring what is being said. It is so important for leaders to think before they speak – to respond and not react. Wait before you send that email response. Put it into your draft folder and sleep on it. You’ll find many times that the next day you will reword it or not send it at all.
3. Be slow to anger – Note that James does not say, ‘and never become angry.’ Anger is a God-given emotion that, like other emotions, are morally neutral. God becomes angry, yet without sin. It is how we express our anger that determines whether we sin or not in our anger. Before we chastise or rebuke another, remember to take the log out of your own eye first (see Matthew 7:1-5). Words spoken in anger, though they may be forgiven, are not forgotten and the scars may be lasting.
Stewarding your leadership influence for good is more than accomplishing mission. It also includes caring for the flock entrusted to your leadership. Watch your interpersonal comms! You will be quoted!
Developing Kingdom Leaders - Tom Yeakley 