Trusting Others
In Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT we read, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” Before we can trust people, we must trust in the Lord and His good and perfect plans for me and for us all. People will constantly be giving us reasons not to trust them deeply, but if God reigns over all, I can forgive others quickly and move forward without being derailed by bitterness or a critical spirit.
But you say, “Yes, I do trust God deeply because He is good, sinless, and loves me unconditionally. But that’s not true of people who are often looking out for their own good, do sin against me, and tend to love me only when I do what they approve of.” I agree. People can be hard to trust because trust is both given and earned. And when trust is eroded due to untrustworthy behavior, it can be hard to trust again. Forgiveness of those who wrong me is key to my freedom from bitterness.
Jesus addressed this when Peter asked Him about forgiving those who wronged him. In Matthew 18:21-22 NLT we see, “Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!”
As we co-labor, we will often find others who act in ways that further their personal purposes without thinking about the broader impact on other co-laborers or our organization as a whole. They may be very convinced about a certain way of ministry to accomplish our mission and vision that is different from yours. These differences can cause a lack of trust and lead to judgmental attitudes and critical spirits. Soon, factions and divisions form and trust is lost.
When moving to Indonesia many years ago, we were trained in the saying, “Not wrong, just different.” Exposure to new cross-cultural norms could cause us to be condemning and critical of the host culture we were trying to impact for Christ. Better to withhold judgement, be slow to speak and quick to listen, and remember that ‘wisdom is justified by all her children’ (see Luke 7:35). More exposure and understanding can help us avoid a condemning attitude.
So, rather than presuming that ‘different’ is ‘wrong,’ ask questions with phrases like, “I see this, can you please help me understand…” Don’t presume motives or ignorance until you understand the new context better. Position yourself as a learner to the new context and ask questions to gain better understanding. Seek to understand rather than be understood. Gaining a better understanding often clarifies the “why.”
Developing Kingdom Leaders - Tom Yeakley 